The Cullen Clan
by Edward . I Love Yuhh
Summary: Cinnamon Challenge, A so called magic tuna can, Emmett's Poop, 24 hour Walmart Challenge, Food Fight At Olive Garden, Everything being recorded and put on Youtube. This Cullen summer is one of a kind. NO ROMANCE JUST HUMOR! 1000 years after BD. No wolves. Only a little bit Renesmee. Short Chapters. PLEASE REVIEW. I work pretty hard each chapter and reviews are cool. OOC
1. The Magic Tuna Can

Chapter 1- The Empty Tuna Can

This story takes place 1000 years after Breaking Dawn. Sorry no wolves and in my story they can eat and poop and sleep and all that junk.

Bella's P.O.V

It started out as a perfect, happy Sunday. Renesmee was with her friends for the week at their beachhouse. Rosalie, Jasper, and Alice were out shopping. Esme and Carlisle are in Vegas for a week. So it was just Edward, Emmett, and I. We weren't doing anything big. Edward was on his Mac Computer in the family room, I was flipping through a magazine, then there was Emmett, who was being surprisingly quiet. A little too quiet, and I couldn't help but get suspicious. It didn't help that every 5 minutes or so I'd raise my eyebrows at him, and he would just throw this innocent look on his face, and wink._ Is it just me or does Emmett seem a little too quiet today? _I thought knowing that my husband, who was 2 floor away, could hear. I heard a light chuckle. Edward's chuckle came out almost like a grunt, although I'm sure he wasn't attending for it to be like that.

Then it hit me. Pretty hard too. Literally something hit me, really hard! I looked down and saw a tuna can lying on the floor. I thought Emmett hit me with it at first but I knew he would be giggling like a little school girl. I picked up the small circular tuna can, and I headed to the kitchen. I opened a drawer and searched around until I found the can open. Slowly, I opened it, and a shocked look spread across my face. There wasn't any tuna in there. Nope. But there was a piece of paper, and on the piece of paper it read and fine printed bold letters, **This will be a fun week. Whatever the rest of the family wants to do you WILL do too. Or else. **I was pretty ticked about there not being any actual tuna in there. I had plans for that tuna.

I sucked in a deep breath, and looked around a little bit. I wanted Ashton Kutcher to pop out and scream his signature words, but my dreams were crushed when I realized he had passed a long time ago. Who would write something so strange and so…somewhat...life-threatening. Ok so your maybe thinking I'm over exaggerating, maybe it's the effect of this darn tuna can hitting me square in the fore-head. I wonder why Emmett didn't say anything. If he saw a tuna can hit me he would have made me feel better. Like always. But he sat there and didn't say or do anything, as if he didn't see it.

"We're home!" Alice yelled as she entered the house. I heard her footsteps coming towards the kitchen so I quickly threw the empty tuna can in the trash, and shoved the note in my pocket. I decided I was going to keep this to myself. Turns out Alice just walked in and walked right out, back into the living room.

"Everyone! In the living room. Now!" Alice screamed. "But I'm pooping!" Emmett screamed back from the upstairs bathroom. Ok. Now that image is gonna stick in my head for a while. "Ok! Everyone in the living room when Emmett's done pooping!"

"I don't know Alice. This might take a while." He said while grunting. I could handle the magic tuna can and the note and everything, but right now, this torture. It didn't make it better when he kept chanting, "C'mon poop! Come out!" over and over.

Finally, after about 15 minutes, Emmett came downstairs with a smirk on his face, "If I were you guys I'd use the other bathrooms for the rest of the week." He said obviously satisfied with the damage he had done. We were all in the living room now waiting for Alice to tell us why she had gathered us here. She breathed in, looked at all of us, and clapped her hands together, "So I think we're all pretty bored. So I came up with the idea of doing the cinnamon challenge!" Alice chirped while smiling a little freakishly. Edward looked at me waiting for my answer. I was about to say HECK NO but then I thought of the note. No way was someone ripping my head off for not participating in a stupid little challenge so I was the first one to say I'm in. Eventually everyone agreed, and Rosalie had gotten the cinnamon from the kitchen, with the spoons.

"Plus, I'm gonna be recording it, and putting it on You tube," Alice started, "I already made our account! Its called the Cullen Clan!" Okay she was a little to excited.

"Anyway I'm gonna click play now. I'm gonna say some stuff first and when I say I'm alice want everyone to say there name in order." We were sitting like this Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, Edward, I. She clicked play, like she said she would and then Alice started talking jibberish.

"Hey youtubers! My family and I are going to be doing the cinnamon challenge and yep. Hope you like it! Stick around after if you want to know our ages, and stuff like that. Anyway Im Alice" and we did as kind of rehearsed.

By now we were all holding the spoon up to our mouths, and bottle of waters in our other hand. I'm going to be honest, I'm scared for my life right now. Times like these my inner drama queen always makes and appearance.

"Ok guys we're going to have to try and swallow it. If you can't there are plastic bowls in front of you to up chuck. Got it" We all nodded and I gulped.

She started counting down, "1….2…3" I was the last one to shove it in my mouth…..

**AUTHOR'S NOTE-YOU DONT HAVE TO READ THIS, BUT YOU STILL SHOULD Hey! Im starting a new story. This is only for when I finish a chapter early for my other story, so dont expect daily updates or anything. This is no romance or anything like that its simply a dumb humor story. Next chapter is the actual Cinnamon challenge. 5 reviews for the next chapter. PLEASE REVIEW! It really doesnt take that long. I just want your advice :( Turn my :( into a :) and you can do that by reviewing. Read my other story to when you get the chance.**

**Anyway heres the plan for this story**

**Crazy stupid stuff like parties, truth or dare, all types of challenges, chill days, all the type of junk. Yes renesmee is in this story just not in a couple chapters. No wolves because I dislike them. Lol and about the Tuna Can it's not a ghost hunting bella or anything like that. Its a person who threw the can at her and for a reason but you won't find that out till a couple chapters in. I guess you can say its a mystery. I picked a tuna can because I was eating tuna while writing that part so there wasnt a specific reason. Short Chapters. Anyway IF YOU REVIEW YOU A SNIPPET OF THE NEXT CHAPTER! Please review :D I'd really appreciate it. Tell me if yuh laughed atleast one time too. Sorry for this massive A/N I had alot to say.**


	2. You Forgot To Flush!

"AAAAAAAAH!" Rosalie screamed, and brown dust flew in the air, she instantly gulped down her water, but that didn't stop her from running to the kitchen for more.

Rosalie's reaction had made Jasper laugh, causing him to open his mouth slightly so when he breathed in the cinnamon got stuck in his throat. He coughed a lot before, finally giving up, and spitting the cinnamon out, drowning himself in his water, and following Rosalie's footsteps.

At this point I was trying me best to swallow all, but it just wouldn't go down. I got tired of trying so I spit it out, and ran to the bathroom like a maniac to brush my teeth. I made one mistake though, I went to the bathroom Emmett had just use. And he forgot to flush the toilet

"OH MY GOSH! MY EYES! IT BURNS!" I screamed before I had a chance to stop myself. I heard as Edward spit his cinnamon out, and come upstairs to see what I was screaming about.

"Oh my goodness what is that smell?" Edward screamed while covering his eyes with one hand, and his nose with another I breathed a couple times before answering, "EMMETT'S DOOKEY!" I growled while pointing to it. Edward looked confused for a second before he screamed, "Somebody call 911 my eyes are actually burning. The smell is that bad!"

I heard Emmett start singing Fire Burning by Sean Kingston, "SOMEBODY CALL 911, EDDIE'S EYES ARE BURNING IN THE BATHROOM! OOH WOAH!" He screamed although he probably thought he was singing. I ran out the bathroom, and pulled Edward with me, while slamming the door. We both ran downstairs.

"The scent. It's still stuck in my nose," I cried while fanning my eyes. Edward agreed, "EMMETT YOU FOOL! YOU DIDN'T EVEN FLUSH THE TOILET!" Edward screamed. After a short quiet moment he added, "And you sing like a dying beaver." Under his breath. Of course, we all still heard it. Unfortunately, that started Emmett up again.

"BYE BOY! I SING LIKE THE REINCARNATION OF MICHEAL JACKSON!" And then he did -no wait, tried- to do the moon walk failing miserably. Everyone was laughing their heads off at this moment.

"So who won the cinnamon challenge? Sorry, I was too busy upstairs getting infected by Emmett's poop." I asked Rosalie after Alice turned the camera off, and ran to her room to go get her mac book.

"Emmett. He swallowed it a few seconds after you left, because he wanted to laugh." She said while giggling softly. I tossed her a glare, and let's just say that shut her right up.

"Guys this video is hilarious! Especially the poop part! Bella, there's no doubt Youtube will pick you as their favorite Cullen." Alice said while coming down the stairs with her laptop in her hand, and the Camera connected to it. She hooked the laptop up to the Tv and we sat and watched it.

It was pretty fun, turns out you could hear every word I was saying when upstairs. Alice was giving the camera a "I have no idea what's going on upstairs look" and Emmett was trying to swallow it. Like Rosalie said, Emmett won and soon after he burst out laughing.

Alice edited it, adding some jump cuts, and then she put her webcam app on, to try and film the last part. "Ok guys I'm going to let you guys speak. Say your name, age, and some interesting stuff about you. Me first though." She clicked record on her mac and started talking jibberish the second time today, "Ok guys hope you like our cinnamon challenge. Subscribe and comment. Anyway like I said before the video, here is our bios. My name is Alice I'm 17 years old. I love to hangout with my family, and do crazy stuff." She stopped the video edited it on, and then it was Edward's turn, "My name is Edward. I'm 17, and I love chilling. Deuces!" Was all he had to say.

Emmett was the last one to speak, "HEY PEOPLE OF THE PLANET! MY NAM'E EMMY! LIKE THE AWARDS! IM 18! I LIKE TO EAT, POOP, ALTHOUGH YOU GUYS ALREADY FIGURED OUT THE LAST PART," He shot me a glance and the memories almost made me growl, "I LOVE MESSING WITH MY FAMILY. ESPECIALLY EDDIE BOY OVER THERE!" Edward didn't hold back his growl this time, "My name isn't Eddie!"

"SHUTUP ITS MY TURN! YOU ALREADY HAD YOUR TURN TO TALK!" Emmett screamed while pouting. That's when I lost it, the room erupted with my laughter, but Alice hushed me so Emmett could finish,

"Anyway I'm the coolest Cullen. Also the sexiest." He was actually talking in a normal voice now. Still pretty loud considering he's Emmett, but good enough. I heard Edward scoff and murmur, "I beg to differ." Alice gave him a look, and that shut him up

"That's all I have to say for now! Bye!" Emmett said with a wave of the hand. Alice stopped it, and edited it on. She put the camera back on herself now, "So that was our bios. Don't forget to subscribe! Because we have very good videos coming up and you don't want to miss it. Our next video will be up by tomorrow. I bet you guys want to know what it is, right?" I probably wanted to know more than them, this is some important stuff. Alice inhaled a long, unnecessary breathed before she smiled widely and screamed, "FOOD FIGHT IN OLIVE GARDEN!"

Oh goodness. Someone shoot me now!

**AUTHORS NOTE- Hey guys! I know I asked for 5 reviews but I sat down and thought about it, and I decided I shouldnt have a goal like that, so here it is early! Please review! Like I said before I just want opinions! It won't take you 15 hours. Just put a simple Good or Great or This was a waste of my time. I like opinions. So im on my knees begging PLEASE REVIEW. Dont forget reviewers get a little treat! If you review you get a snippet of the next chapter.**

**Next chapter isn't actually the food fight, it's like the rest of the day, and getting ready for it and stuff. I'm trying to make the next chapter as funny as can be. If your wondering yes, I have had a food fight at olive garden beofre with my friends, for 6th grade graduation ^^ It was pretty cool until we got kicked out. Anyway Please REVIEW**


	3. DON'T SCREAM AT MY MAN!

**THIS WAS BETA'D BY Galgalatz (I think that's how you spell it) You guys should really check her out, her writing is awesome! Anyway READ ON! And then review after 8-)**

Chapter 3- DON'T SCREAM AT MY MAN!

"Alice!" I shrieked dramatically, while throwing my hands up in the air. "Are you seriously thinking about a food fight? In the friggin' Olive Garden?"

"Oh come on, Bella, I love you with all my non-existent heart, but you really are a buzz kill," she said, and touched her chest. "Besides," she started with a shrug, "YOLO." And with that, she walked away. That doesn't even count with us. I thought, causing Edward to chuckle.

The next morning, Alice stormed in my room, began jumping on my bed, and woke me up. Luckily for him, Edward was already up.

"Alice what are you doing in here so early!" I yelled at her while getting up. She threw a pillow at me, but thankfully I caught it.

"Go take a shower! We need to start planning for that food fight of ours." Planning? Planning for what! Alice must have seen my facial expression, because she quickly added, "Reservations. Outfits. Stuff like that," her tone suddenly got impossibly louder, "now up! Uppity up!" She sang and left.

"Good morning dear awesome family!" I chirped while going downstairs. After that shower nobody could ruin my good mood. I saw Emmett smile, and suddenly felt the need to turn that upside down. I smirked and added on, "Oh! And hey Emmett." That did it. He looked as if he was about to cry, it took all I had not to burst out laughing.

"Oh suck it up you big chum!" Alice said, and picked up her iPhone. "NOW! Everyone! So this food fight is going to take some major planning. For one, we have to get Bella to agree with the outfit I picked out for her." She tossed me a look, and continued, "Secondly, we need to make our reservations, and what now-" She was cut off by Jasper's little snicker. "Is something funny, Jazz?" Alice asked while lifting her small chin up, and putting her hand on her hip.

Jasper snickered again, and soon after Edward burst out laughing, "Wow, you're so right!" That lasted for about two minutes before Rosalie finally spoke up, and asked what we were all dying to know.

"What is so funny?" She asked impatiently while giving Jasper, and Edward these looks that said she was about to choke someone.

Finally between all of his laughs, Jasper spoke up. "You're so hype! You're making it seem like it's this big party or something, when it's actually just a food fight! We don't really need to plan. We just need to go there and start throwing some food! Please babe, stop stressing yourself," he said while calming his laughter down, and giving her a sloppy kiss on the lips.

"Ewww," Emmett started, throwing a grape at her. "Get a room!" He looked at me. Wiggled his eyebrows, and mouthed 'wild kids'.

"Emmett you, out of all people, should NOT be talking smack. You don't know what we put up with at nights thanks to you and Rose!" Jasper shouted, tossing a glance at Rose, and Emmett.

"WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN?" Rose shouted, putting her hair in a high ponytail, which slightly made her look like one of those people from that cereal commercial.

"DON'T SCREAM AT MY MAN!" Alice yelled back, while taking her heels off.

"AYE ALICE COOL IT!" Emmett screamed, which caused Jasper to scream, "DON'T SCREAM AT MY WOMAN!"

And then they all started fighting.

Edward and I took a seat on the island table, and just smirked at each other. "Should we break 'em up?" I asked swinging my legs and tilting my head to the side slightly.

"Nah," Edward said with a grin "This is funny."

About two hours later, we were all sitting in the living room. Rose's hair was back down, and Alice's heels were back on. It was already 3:00 p.m. "Alice aren't our reservations at five?" I asked after a long quiet moment.

"Oh crap! You're so right! It's gonna take an hour and thirty minutes to do your make-up, and like another hour to put you in that dress I want you to wear!" She was breathing heavily, and panting. Jasper grabbed her by the elbow, and pulled her down.

"Well maybe if you stop hyperventilating….." I trailed off, waiting for the family to interfere. "And, why on earth is it going to take you so long to put me in a dress?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh no reason, just the fact that the dress is pretty short, and sexy, other than that it's perfect." She said nonchalantly. And she KNOWS how I feel about wearing short dresses! Oh well. Might as well suck it up, and deal with it. I still remember that note.

We were all ready by 4:45. Olive Garden wasn't that far, 5-10 minutes away. Alice was wearing a cream colored dress that was puffy at the bottom, and tight at the chest area. She matched the dress with a pair of five inch heels, that were cream colored, and had a bow on the side. Rosalie was wearing a tight fitting red dress, that showed all her curves, and she matched it with THE black Jeffrey Campbell Vita shoes.

God bless her.

Lastly, I was wearing a white, tight fitting, peplum dress. It was pretty short but I've worn worse. I just praise the lord that it at least had straps. Alice had finally realized, over the decades, that I don't do heels. It's just not my thing. So she put me in some cute brown oxford flats.

God bless her too.

"Bella & Edward, you guys get the camera while we are in the car. Please try to be entertaining, and funny."

Edward faux gasped putting his hand on his chest, "Alice! Are you suggesting we are not entertaining?" I think he was trying to sound British. He failed.

She stared at us for a while before answering, "My mother always told me, if I don't have anything nice to say don't speak at all."

We took Emmett's huge jeep. Alice handed me her small HD camera, and told us to just talk about anything, as long as it was fun. The car started up, and we were on our way.

I pressed play, and slowly started talking, "So, hi. My name is Bella, and this dummy's name is Edward," I pointed the camera to Edward, and he put on a shocked expression, but it quickly changed into a smile.

"I know you're not trying to play me, Bella." I giggled a little bit before I stuck my tongue out at him, and put the camera back on me.

"Anyway, we are on our way to Olive Garden to eat. Actually I don't even know if we're going to eat anything." It was true, I didn't know if we were going to eat anything. I'm hoping we are going to, because I've been running on an empty stomach all day.

"Yes Bella, we are going to eat a bit too. Just throwing it would be a waste of money, and plus I'm sort of hungry." Alice answered my question all the way from the front seat.

"Fatty," Emmett scoffed. We all burst out laughing. Everyone, but Alice. Of course.

"Emmett. I'd slap you, but that would be animal abusGale, you baboon," Alice flipped him off.

"Okay guys. I think we're here!" I shouted into the camera, and smiled.

"WISH US LUCK, SO WE DON'T GET ARRESTED!" Emmett yelled, before skipping out of the car, and stopping every other step to thrust his hips.

God HELP him.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE - HERES CHAPTER 3! I just want to thank all the people who have reviewed for this story. I read those reviews everytime I log on, because they make me so happy to know that someone actually likes my writings so thankyou.**

**the twilight saga forever**

**Galgalatz**

**Lauren3638**

**Twilife2011**

**and then the anonymous people.**

**Thanyou!**

**Know you make review 8-)**


	4. Alice's True Colors

**PLEASE READ:::Hey Guys! Today's my birthday! Yay me, right? I'm so sorry I didn't upload it sooner, I was on vacation. Anyways I said this before, but I guess people didn't see. MY VAMPIRES IN THIS STORY CAN EAT, SLEEP, USE TE RESTROOMS, AND OTHER HUMAN TRAITS. They just are vampires too. Anyway this chapter is quite stupid, you'll just have to bare with me. Anyway PLEASE REVIEW. It's the least you can do, because it's my birthday 8-)**

**Wasn't Beta'd because I was in a rush to get this out, but my beta is Galgalatz so check her out. Anyway READ ON!**

Chapter 4

Alice P.O.V

"Reservations under Figglehorn, please." I said when we got inside. I saw my family members give me a look, but I just waved it off.

"Who the hell is a figglehorn?" Bella asked once we sat down at our table. I was waiting for our food to come before I turned on the camera, so right now it's tucked in my skirt. I was about to answer when I was rudely cut off by Emmett, "More like what the hell is a figglehorn. It sounds like something Bella would name her child." He added the last part with a smirk, which earned a growl from both Bella, and Edward.

"Shut it Emmett, my baby's name is one of a kind!" Bella seethed while throwing a piece of bread at Emmett, who happily caught it in his mouth." When he was finish taking his time chewing he replied, "I'm sorry Bella, please forgive me," he genuinely looked like he was sorry for a second, but Emmett quickly added on, "Do anything you want for my punishment, just don't name me." And then he bursted out laughing. Don't get me wrong, I love my brother, but he really is a stupid person.

"Say what you want Emmett, because, sticks and stones. May break my bones." Bella took in a big breath before rushing out the rest of her sentence, "BUT THOSE CRUSTY BEHIND WORDS THAT ARE COMING THROUGH YOUR CRUSTY BEHIND LIPS WILL NEVER HURT ME!" She screamed while flailing her hands around. I was so proud of Bella, she deserves a pat on the back.

"Okay guys, Emmett enough with making fun of Bella's horrible name decisions, and Bella enough with saying how crusty Emmett's lips are." I started while giggling a little bit, "I put us under figglehorn so when the cops come, they can't hunt us down. Duh." Realization took over everyone's face, and I couldn't help but roll my eyes. Was I the only smart person in this family?

The waitress came and took our orders and left, but not before slipping her number over to all 3 of the guys. Whore. "Who does she think she is? I mean, they're obviously taken!" Rosalie exploded when the waitress left. She's such a punk, I bet she wouldn't do that if the waitress was her.

"Rosalie! Alice is calling you a punk in her mind." Edward said with a proud grin. Snitches Get Stitches.

Lady In The Next Booth P.O.V

"Honey pass me the rolls, ple-"

THUMP!

"IT'S AN EARTHQUAKE!" I screamed without thinking. "STUP UP LADY AND LET ME DO MY DAMAGE TO THIS SNITCH!" A person from the next booth screamed, it was a high pitch voice, but her voice sounded gravely.

Rosalie's P.O.V

Alice was beating the crap out of Edward. To sum it up she was doing the same thing I wanted to do to her. Calling me a punk, shaking my head. I'm just waiting for us to get out of this place, so my fist can make its mark on her face.

It's hectic in here, there's Alice who's trying to beat Edward's brain out. There's Edward who isn't doing anything, being the gentleman that he is. There's Jasper who's trying to pull Alice off Edward. There's Bella who's trying to choke Alice. And then there's Emmett, who's trying to get himself into it somehow. Honestly, I felt left out, I felt like my family didn't think I was good enough to join their group fight. So I sat up and tried to get in the fight to. We probably look like a bunch of weirdo's but hey, it's called family bonding.

Finally we were all able to stop fighting and compose ourselves. Alice had a smile on her face, but one roll to the cheek from Bella wiped it right off. "Want a round 2 Bella? Cause I'm ready when you are." Alice said while deepening her voice and patting her chest like Tarzan.

"Bring it on, Heffa! I'll choke you like I did last time." Was Bella's reply. Alice scoffed and said, "Uhm not even. You didn't even choke me!"

Now that was a lie. Bella had her in a head lock. They went at it back and forth for a while until the waitress came with our food. She handed the last plate to Emmett, "and lastly, here's your-"

"WAIT!" He screamed cutting her off, "Bella get a pen and paper! This might be the name of my future niece or nephew."

That set her off, she grabbed a handful of her chicken alfredo and threw it at Alice. That action left me a tiny bit confused, but it was still funny. "Why are you throwing it at me!?" Alice shrieked. By now everyone was watching us, and the promiscuous waitress had ran away. "BECAUSE JUST LOOKING AT YOU MAKES ME ANGRY!" Bella growled, and threw some more at her. I quickly grabbed the camera from Alice, pressed record, and turned it to my face.

"Hi. Well, the food fight has started, so yeah!" I said with a smirk. Emmett grabbed the camera out my hand, "we're running a little early! The food throwing wasn't supposed to start till 30 minutes from now," a look of determination crossed over his face as he looked down at his plate, "I have to eat quickly now!" And then he started stuffing his face. I took the camera back and pointed it in Alice direction. She was breathing loudly, and in her king Kong stance, slightly slouched, and arms out a little. I couldn't help but laugh at the sight, she truly did look like a gorilla. One look at Jasper told me he wasn't trying to calm them down and that he was enjoying this, and one look at Edward told me Bells, and Alice were thinking about doing some pretty brutal things to each other.

Alice was in her King Kong stance for a good minute before jerking Emmett's plate from under him just as he was about to dip his fork in there once more, and slammed it on Jasper's face. Not the plate though. That gesture left me a bit confuse again, but it seems like we're doing a lot of things backwards today. I heard Emmett cry out, before running to steal the rolls from the booth behind us.

"Alice why did you slam it on my face?" He asked half screaming.

"Because your enjoying this!" She growled before hitting her chest again, and jumping on the table, "FOOD FIGHT!"

Next thing I knew, food was being thrown everywhere! No way was some Thousand Island sauce ending up in my hair, so I grabbed the camera and hid under the table. Moments later Emmett crawled under there with me still stuffing his face with the other people roll's. I was surprised he could fit, but miracles happen. I guess. I pointed the camera in his direction, and raised my eyebrow. "It's crazy out there, and the last thing I need is Alfredo sauce on my rolls," He explained. I laughed a little, before stopping the camera.

The food fight lasted for a good 30 minutes before the cops came. When they did, I can't even explain how fast we ran. Let's just say, we went ham on that Olive Garden. Literally. Overall the day turned out pretty good. My hair came out food-free, Emmett got his rolls, and we discovered Alice's true colors. The girl was a beast.

**Review, as a birthday present. Reviews get replied to and they get snippets. Plus i'll be starting a new thing below**

**Tell Me In Yur Review (TMIYR)**

**1. Did you like this chapter?**

**2. What silly thing do you want up next**

**3. What was the funniest part in this capter?**

**I'll try to update next week, now bye. The new episode of Phineas and Ferb is coming on now!**


	5. Never Have I Ever

_Whatsuup__** Amigos!? **__**Beta'd By Galgalatz So Check Her Out!**__** Don't forgot to read the Author's Note at the bottom, and please review.**_

_**Chapter 5 **_

_Bella's POV-_

She swore she beat me up. Alice is who I'm talking about. I mean, let's all be honest, even though I went all Jon Cena on her, when she started growling, I was more than a little scared. When we finally got home I was really exhausted, beating up Alice is a lot of work, you know.

It was late at night when I heard rustling in the file cabinets downstairs. I figured it was probably Emmett looking for a late night snack, like his usual fat self. Turns out it wasn't Emmett, though. It was Renesmee.

"Renesmee, you're back early. Why?" Apparently I startled her, because she jumped, and turned around with wide eyes.

"Goodness gracious, Mom! Don't scare me like that, I thought you were Emmett!" I was about to question her why she was scared of Emmett, but then I noticed the big, glass jar behind her, labeled "Emmett's Chocolate chip cookies, Do Not Touch!"

"Wow, Nessie," I said with a small smile, "so you're a cookie thief now, huh?"

She rolled her eyes, and went back to devouring Emmett's chocolate chip cookies.

"So, are you going to tell me why you're back so early?"

"There was a hurricane." She stated simply, her mouth still full of stolen treats.

I was genuinely concerned when I asked this next question, "Are your friends ok?"

She turned back around and smiled. I tried to ignore the big piece of chocolate sitting on her teeth. It was quite disgusting really, I think I gagged.

"I wouldn't know, Mom. I heard it coming, and that's all it took for me to skedaddle. I'm sure they're fine though, it didn't look THAT big. Before you ask, I left a note. It said that you came to pick me up early because you missed me." Yep, that sounded like something Renesmee would do. "Anyway, what did I miss the three days that I was gone?"

"Well, Alice created a YouTube account for the family, where we do crazy, dumb stuff that are pointless a-"

She cut me off, "so I'm guessing you're not too fond of this new entertainment source?" She asked with a small smirk playing on her lips.

"Shut up, Nessie. Just shut up and eat your stolen cookie." Was my awesome comeback, "So anyway, as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, we do stupid stuff. Now you know me, I'm the responsible one in this family." I took a moment to stop and flip my hair over my shoulder, and smile broadly.

"Lies!" I heard someone scream from upstairs. It was probably Alice, though she'd better shut up already before I go upstairs, and handle her like the boss I am.

"As I was saying, since I'm the responsible one in this family, you know I'd never agree to do all the crap that Alice had planned. However, I got hit with a tuna can on the head, and in it was a note, that said I had to participate in all the activities that we were going to do." I watched as Nessie's face morphed from "I'm listening," to "This bitch is friggin' crazy."

"Wait, so let me get this straight. There's this magic tuna can that popped out of nowhere and hit you on the head?" She asked, while raising an eyebrow, and putting back Emmett's super big cookie jar on the shelf. You know, when she puts it that way, it sounds pretty weird. I slowly nodded my head in confirmation.

"Ok, yeah. Cause that makes tons of sense! Forget logic! Let's all pretend that tuna cans are magical!" Sarcastic little twit.

"I'm telling the truth, Ness! It just popped out of thin air and hit me on the head! I've got the bruise to prove it!"

* * *

_Alice POV-_

I was listening in on their whole conversation. It's so obvious that I threw the can at her! I honestly thought that Bella was a little smarter than that, but guess not. The only reason I did it was because I had fun stuff planned for us, and I knew Bella and Edward wouldn't want to do it.

So, I came up with a brilliant plan to get them to participate. I hit Bella on the head with a tuna can, put a note in it, and told her to play along with everything. I knew getting Bella to say yes would definitely make Edward say yes. AND THERE YOU HAVE IT! A brilliant plan, totally fool-proof, and way worth the anger if she ever finds out.

The next afternoon, I filled the group in on our next shenanigan. "Okay! Guys, today we are playing Never Have I Ever!" I said excitedly. I saw Emmett get a little excited too, so I quickly added on, "but Carlisle and Esme don't want us using shots, so we'll be using Canada Dry. But not the caffeine free one. Like a boss." I said, and then did my best Rick Ross impression. It ended up sounding like I was choking though. I stole a glance at Bella, and she seemed nervous. Good.

* * *

_Edward POV-_

I wasn't really listening to anybody's thoughts today. After Alice's brutal beating last night, I just don't know if I'll ever be the same.

Don't get me wrong, I'm no punk, but she hits like a man. We were all sitting down in the living room on the sofas with Bella and Alice as far away from each other as possible. We all kind of figured that it would be best if Alice and she didn't get close.

I was sitting between my two favorite girls, Bells and Ness. The camera had just started and Alice began to speak, "Hello, today we will be playing Never Have I Ever. We aren't allowed to drink, so we'll be using Canada Dry. As you can see, we've got our shots of ginger ale lined out in front of us, and I'll be starting. Ok guys, never have I ever been in handcuffs."

Emmett smirked, and downed his shot. "Long story short, Rose and I were in a role-playing mood."

Renesmee looked disgusted as she plunged her fingers in her ears. "Okay Em, I really didn't need to hear that!"

He rolled his eyes, "oh, Ness, stop being dramatic. As if you didn't know. Girl, I'm pretty sure the whole forest heard us that night. I feel sorry for the poor little animals though, them baby deer don't need to hear that." Oh the horror. I didn't know if to feel sorrier for my poor innocent daughter, or me. The fact that I could see and hear what Emmett was thinking, made it impossibly worse.

"Thanks for the useful information, Em. Ok, Jazz, it's your turn." Alice said masking the same expression we all had. Disgust. Everyone, but Rosalie and Emmett, of course. They kind of looked pleased with themselves. Sick, sick people.

Jasper thought about it for a second then said, "Never have I ever…Pole danced." Uh-oh. I saw Bella slowly take her ginger ale shot, with a small smile plastered on her face. Everyone gave her a look waiting for her to explain. This aught to be fun.

"Well, what can I say? Rose and Emmett aren't the only ones who like to role play." She giggled a little and winked at me. Such a turn on, she is.

** Author's Note- OMFC! I just reached 21 reviews. I'm literally grinning from ear to ear. I want to do something special for it, so I decided, YOU guys will be helping me choose the Truth Or Dares that are coming up in the chapter after next. So when your done r&r make sure you message me and say the person who's saying it, the person who's getting dared, and the dare. Reviewers get sneak peaks of TCC and my new story (only if they want)**

**UPDATE- So i'm starting a new story soon! As of right now it's called The Buddy Program. It's kind of a non-romantic Romance between ExB. Bella's an angel, and in an hurried attempt to get her wings, she accept's the offer of being Edward Cullen's buddy. The buddy program: in which an angel is sent down to earth to accompany a person in need of help. It's going to be super sweet, so that should be out soon.**

**Questions-**

**1. Did you suspect Alice to Be the person who threw the tuna can?**

**2. When do you want Carlisle and Esme back?**

**3. Funniest part? Quote it.**

**Can we try to get to 26? As soon as I hit 26 i'll update, but for now next chapter will be probably in a while. My 8th grade year is starting soon, and i'm almost determined to be a good student this year (never). Ok I think that's all I have to say. Remeber to sent in your thruths and dares.**


	6. Lonely Nessie

The Cullen Clan

Emmett P.O.V

By the end of the game my throat was burning. Canada dry burns your throat. Not only that, but I am fairly disgusted by the way my family acts. Alice had finished editing the video, and uploading it so now we were strolling through the comments. These kids are funny. I saw one that caught my eye. "Alice scroll back up." She did as told, and I read it aloud.

_Do the 24 Hour Walmart Challenge_

Nessie gasped dramatically and held her hand at her heart. "We HAVE to do that! My other friends did it." She screamed. I rolled my eyes and muttered what friends, Ness being Ness heard me and before I knew it a pillow was connecting with my face.

"Whatever bum." Think of a quick comeback Emmett! "I know you are but what am I?" Alice, and her big mouth chose to get in this. "Five, if you still say that." I sighed, and rolled my eyes."Y'know I'm glad Bella beat you up."

That got Alice going, "Bella did not beat me up!" Alice shouted, and threw a pillow at me, which I saw coming so I caught it. Bella did a small smile and nodded, "yeah, hun. I did." She whispered, but not loud enough, and everyone could hear her.

Alice raised an eyebrow at Bella, daring her to say it again. "OH SHIIIIIT, ROOOUNNND 2!" I cheered dancing. Bells cleared her throat, and said it again. Next thing I know im being slapped, hard. "WHAT THE HELL!" I screamed, rubbing my cheek, and glaring at Renesmee who was now walking away innocently. "I do too have friends." I heard her mutter.

Everybody was out hunting. Except for Bella, and I. They said they wouldn't be back for a day. Bell was sitting down reading, and I was flipping through channels. "Bella, I'm bored." I sighed dramatically. She sat down her book, and looked at me. "I want nothing to do with you while they're gone, because last time you said you were bored, I ended up in the slammer."

I stared at her blankly, with my mouth in an "o" shape, for a while. "Bella, I'm bored." I repeated myself, because she obviously didn't understand me the last time when she started this whole speech about, I don't know, the slammer or something. I wasn't really listening.

Bella inhaled deeply through her mouth, and picked her book back up. "I know Emmett. Go sleep." I stared at her some more. "Bella, I'm bore-"

"OKAY!" She screamed, and sat her book down. She took a long breath, and turned to me. "I cant believe I'm asking you this but, what do you want to do?" The smile that took over my face must have been frightening, because Bella shrinked back.

I pulled up my laptop, and opened up Google. "Oh no." Bella said, once she saw what I typed in. "Emmett there's no way in hell I'm doing the 24 hour wal-mart challenge! It's so dangerous, and don't tell me it's not because last time I listened to you I got locked up. It wasn't fun! I had to-" And that was when I stopped listening. I gave her the blank stare from before. She was rambling on, and all I saw were her lips moving, no sound was coming out though. After a while she finally stopped talking, and stared at me back.

"Bella, I'm bored." I said once more. Bella screamed out of frustration, and started to head towards the stairs. "Where are you going?" I asked smirking.

"To pack my bags. You're not gonna leave me alone till we get this over with, so let's just go." And then she stomped up the stairs.

I grinned wickedly, and started nodding. "This is gonna be fun."

**AUTHOR'S NOTE- WOW A NEW CHAPTER. So it's been a really long time sense i've update. Shame on me. But this will never happen again. The reason why was because i've been focused on my other sad story Breathe Me. Check it out if you like them sad plots. I also had a MAJOR case of writer's block so sorry I kind of skipped never have I ever. Maybe i'll make that an outtake. I also decided to wait on truth or dare. That will be one of the last ones. But i suck at dares so suggest them, and i'll put them in. Next chapter is the 24 hour walmart challenge. Personally i dont think this was a funny chapter AT ALL. PLEASE REVIEW. GET ME TO 30 PLEASE! Alright question time!** (**ANSWER ON YOUR REVIEWS)**

**1) What was your favorite part? Quote it?**

**2) Do you want this story to end soon, and make a sequel, or for it to be just long?**

**3) Next chapter p.o.v Bella or Emmett?**

**PLEASE REVIEW, AND ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS. REVIEWERS GET A SNIPPET OF THE NEXT CHAPTER, WHEN I HAVE IT TYPED UP. PM ME DARES!**


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